It wasn't the grand finale I was expecting

Had a long day of lectures
Given to me by two men
One of which I just met today and the other I've known for all my life
One teaching me about Greek philosophers and the other
about the philosophy of life and relationships

Tonight wasn't the grand finale I was expecting
It really wasn't

I think we started okay
Talking about our future, our home, our dog,
about celebration plans for the birthday girl next week,
about the clockwork orange,
about what we did today.

But I felt like I didn't have much to say
I was processing some thoughts in my head
while we were conversing
And it probably wasn't the right thing to do --
To bring it up for discussion

It's just been bugging me every time I see the word
'pod' on text twist.
May be that's why I didn't game today.

Well, that certainly was a mood-kill
You have your thoughts and you're not ready to share
I have mine and I don't want it to influence your decision
You were right.
It's not the appropriate time to talk about this.

We couldn't come to a conclusion.

Unfortunately, things didn't pick up
You tried to make things better by being affectionate
But I came across as 'incredulous' and
doubting your intentions when you said
You missed me
That was hardly the case

We paused.

I tried to explain myself.

You said You thought that I would understand.

I cannot take it anymore.

Why did I make the conversation worse than it already is?
I feel awful.
My heart is hurting.
My tears are falling.

I'm so sorry for how things turned out tonight.

It wasn't a good finale......