A WatCh NiGhT SerViCe RefLeCtiOn

"Watch me," he told them. "Follow my lead. When I get to the edge of the camp, do exactly as I do. Judges 7:17

Camp  signifying preparing for battle. How many times in my life.. have I felt that life was just like a battle ground. At battle between god and evil. The spiritual and natural, wanting to do the things of God and fighting against doing the things of the world. The bible says clearly that one man cannot serve two masters. If I am friends with the world, I am an enemy with God. Life is a constant battle, without life’s manual, it will only end me up with chaos and more chaos… just like ball of string all entangled, unidentifiable which is the head which is the tail.
Life. A battle ground… between obeying the voice of God in my heart and obeying my parents. Many times they try to find what’s best for me. But what about if God is bringing me through a test? Putting me in hot soup so that I can learn how to depend on God in trying times? And my parents are trying to prevent me from getting into that hot soup? I’m not trying to say that I can hear God’s voice clearer than them. Of course, I can’t say that I’m more spiritual than them in any way. It’s just an everyday battle in my life..

At the edge of  at the brink of. An edge is when you’re about to fall over. The decision you make at this point is very crucial. Because you can’t see what’s beyond the edge, you have to decide which way to go. Being at an edge is very dangerous. So… is it turning back? Or trusting God? Brother Fuji has been an inspiration to me. He told me once that he told his camper when they came up to the altar to be prayed for. He said, “coming up here is very dangerous.” When you decide to let go and let God, he will do anything he wants with YOU. Are you sure you want to take that step? Similarly, being at the edge is very dangerous. God will promise to lift you up but that doesn’t mean when he puts you at a higher or lower platform, there’s going to be less edges, in fact, there’s going to be more.
What are the edges in my life this year? Definitely I need to thank God for seeing ben and I through another year. There has been many times when I said to myself, “ok. That’s enough. No more.” But I chose to trust God, and we id go through more rough patches but God brought us true and the relationship became richer.
I thank God also for seeing me through the first full time semester of TCA. The edge for me was to decide whether I should continue to stay in NTU or switch to bible school and I felt God’s prompting and leading so I chose to go full time and I have seen ever since, growth in my spiritual life and have learnt so much more about youths and my own calling. Through writing the papers, although tough, I learnt that I could depend on Him. Without God really, I couldn’t do it.

When I get to  I realize that Gideon didn’t say IF I get to. He was certain. He knew he would have to face the enemy with the little men that he has. He said “When”. We will have our enemies to face. Everyday BEHIND ENEMY LINES.

The word I want to emphasize here however is this..

“Watch me”  Today’s going to be watch night service. But the question is, who are we watching? Why are we watching? And even, What are we watching?
Watching is sensory. What did Gideon say here? He said, watch ME. Gideon is the leader of his army. Who is our leader? Who is my leader? Tonight is a time to readjust my focus back to God. After the spiritual high at the camp and hearing God’s voice, my sine curve went down again. No quiet moments with God anymore. It was all fun and play. Lord, I want to watch YOU tonight. YOU are the star of my life. I wanna get closer Lord, so much closer, Lord to thee. I wanto “Follow Your Lead” and in every situation of my life, “do exactly as [YOU would] do.